"MICHAELE DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW HOT YOU ARE? Have you seen yourself? Really, LOOK AT YOU. FUCKING LOOK AT YOU. Put on that little black dress you have and look. Admire your legs. Are you admiring them? What do you see? Do you know what I see? I see a beautiful girl, with an infectious smile. I see someone who has creamy white skin, beautiful hair, bony hips, an hourglass figure, someone who genuinely means well. I see someone who wants good, but doesn’t get it. I see someone who needs to be happy and is craving it. I see someone who would look beautiful with the lights on and off. Who would look beyond beautiful in the nude…that sounds creepy, but what I’m trying to say is, you’re so fucking gorgeous. I have never seen a girl as beautiful as you. Sure you’ve made mistakes and you hate yourself for it, but that’s what adds to your beauty. It’s what makes you stunning. You care about it so much that I watched you evolve, like a butterfly. You were a pretty caterpillar, but now, now you’re this magnificent butterfly. You regret things. You cry, but even when you’re down you’re magnificent. You don’t know how lovely you are. I wish you did."
Fun Fact: He’s liked me for 7 months. Fun Fact: I don’t have feelings for him. Fun Fact: Before he told me he liked me I was crying to him for three hours about how much I love Nick. LIKE IT’S BEEN FOUR MONTHS, BUT I’M SO HUNG UP ON HIM BECAUSE I REALLY LOVE HIM. I’m literally the epitome of asshole. Seriously.
Today in my anatomy class, this guy was asking me why whenever he has sexual conversations with me why I never respond or get really uncomfortable. I didn’t want to tell him, but I figured that if I told him, maybe he’d understand. Here’s how our conversation went.
M: “Well, I’ve been raped four times so I-“
C: “Oh quit being such a fucking pussy and get over it.”
"You heard me, it happened when you were younger and you’re a pussy for letting this bug you until today."
"The last time I was raped August first."
"So, it was recent and I’m uncomfortable with it."
"You’re such a fucking pussy, I wouldn’t mind to get raped."
"Okay, well that’s awesome. I wouldn’t. Why don’t we agree to disagree?"
"No that’s gay. Who did it to you?"
"Why is that important?"
“‘Cause I wanna know.”
"This guy named Thomas. You don’t know him, I couldn’t get him convicted anyways. It doesn’t matter anymore."
"Well, Michaele if he rapes you four times you gotta admit you liked it, just a little bit."
"C_______ I never fucking liked it, it wasn’t fucking consented. He didn’t rape me four fucking times he was one of the people."
"I feel like you have a naughty side that loves it. Admit it, you enjoyed it."
"I was fucking roofied I couldn’t do anything, you ass. I didn’t fucking enjoy it, quit making assumptions if you don’t know the fucking truth."
"So you got roofied too? That sounds fun. Getting roofied and raped. I can’t believe you didn’t enjoy it. You’re a liar for saying you didn’t enjoy it."
"C_______ quit being a fucking dick. Quit making assumptions. Quit acting like you know me. You don’t. You’re a fucking dumbass for thinking that. Your constant illiterate assumptions that I enjoyed that shows how low your intelligence really is. You’re so close-minded, thinking everything is about you, thinking the world runs by you when it obviously doesn’t. Maybe if you opened your mind, you’d amount to something. You know what? I don’t need this. I don’t need to explain any further just leave me the fuck alone, shut up, and let me do my fucking work."
I’m literally baffled at his ignorance. He upset me so much. SO UPSET. I almost started crying in class, but I stayed strong and held my position. I refuse to let you make me cry. I refuse to let you see what you’ve done. I refuse, I refuse, I REFUSE.
“I’m sorry if I sound angry or over protective you’re just such a great person and don’t deserve any of the crap you get. in my whole life I’ve never met someone as kind and caring as you. I don’t understand how such horrible things could happen to such a kind and selfless person. You’re the type of person I would want to fall in love with. You know if you could chose who you love. I’m gonna be honest here I’d do anything to you I feel like I owe you for just existing because you’re simply to wonderful for words. And on top of all this you’re beautiful. Fuck the universe for doing such horrible things to you. And screw anyone who tries to hurt you. I’m kinda rambling aren’t I? I guess the point is I’m here for you, anytime, any hour, always. And if the universe wants to get to you I’ll be standing in the way.”—Frankie Motherfucking Russo