Let Me Help You

The only difference between 12 & 18 yr old me is that I'm now just a dork that hit puberty. (Thank you, puberty)

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Anonymous asked: I’m sorry if I delved too much in your life, but I just want you to be happy, thank you for existing and keep on being the best person you can be.

It’s okay, I understand you’re doing what you do because you care, thank you.

Please get back to me when you see these.

Thank you for caring, it truly does mean a lot.

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Anonymous asked: Love is supposed to make you feel happy, you love him, but the pain and sadness you face is because the love is not met both ways, at least not visibly. You want to help, you want to love, but you might as well ask mountains to sing before you ask someone to love you. Love isn’t sitting in a room, crying that you don’t see their smile anymore. Love is beautiful and pure joy, no matter if they hate you and they are gone. Love shouldn’t make you cry of sadness, it should make you cry of joy.

I’m not asking him to love me. I can’t dictate his feelings.

I don’t cry out of sadness, I cry because I worry if he’s okay, I’m passed that point. I know I’m still sad about how things ended up; if he asked me to get back together, I would.

I’ve accepted that I will love him forever and will probably never have him back, I’m not crying because I’m sad, I’m crying because I don’t know if he’ll be okay with other things going on in his life.

Love is pain, eventually, it’s going to hurt you and you can’t stop that. You are going to cry anyways, whether it’s good or bad.

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Anonymous asked: Or you can take the alternative, take matters into your own hands and tell him that you love him and ask for a direct answer and depending yes or no you can dictate your actions. I asked to questions earlier to find out if you were prepared for that yes or no question, to be prepared if he jumps into your arms or if you are prepared to fall down the rabbit hole. The simplest solution would be to forget him, but I know how love feels, and that would be impossible to ask out of anyone.

Am I prepared for that “yes or no question”?

I texted him today, if you’d like to know how that went.

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Anonymous asked: It's not your fault for loving him, and it's not his fault for doing what he's doing to you, pushing you aside or just flat out not caring about you. IT’s up to you how you want to proceed, if you like being in this rut, then stay, long for the boy who you don’t know will ever snap to his senses and realize how lucky he is to be alive, but also have an amazing girl like you to love him.

What do you mean by “realize how lucky he is to be alive”?

He knows I love him, he knows I won’t stop loving him. It’s been now, officially, a year and I love him more today than I did last August.

Thank you for saying I’m an amazing girl, I appreciate it.

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Anonymous asked: Look, this is probably none of my business, but look, your a great talented, smart person. You deserve to have someone who makes you feel like the worth of the whole galaxy. You deserve some one who makes you feel like you are their only light. You thought Nicholas was going to be that person, but it ended up that it was wrong, and now he doesn't seem to mind at all now that you are going through this pain.

I’m going to answer each of these individually.

He did make me feel like I was the only light. It wasn’t wrong. Whether he minds it or not, isn’t up to me. He’s not responsible for my “pain”.

I don’t really want someone who makes me feel like I’m worth the whole galaxy.

I still love him to the point that if I had to choose someone who wouldn’t hurt me and would shower me with poems or him, I would still choose him. That’s where I’m at still.

He’s his own individual and he has a reason for treating me the way he does, but that’s not going to change how I feel.

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When you live in the dark for so long, you begin to love it. And it loves you back, and isn’t that the point? You think, the face turns to the shadows, and just as well. It accepts, it heals, it allows.

But it also devours.

Raymond Carver, Late Fragment.
(via mirroir)

(Source: wordsnquotes, via rustyvoices)